How do you deal with the frustration of dementia?

How do you deal with the frustration of dementia?
My elderly mother and father live with me, my husband and our three teenage sons. My father has dementia. He is a difficult stage right now because he is lucid enough to be able to object to any kind of help we suggest to him. He was never a reasonable man so now when he is difficult as a result of the dementia it’s really hard not to feel impatient with him. If he had always been an easy going person, then it would be easy to see the difference between the man and the illness, now it’s just the same cantankerous person, only he doesn’t remember anything past 5 minutes, is incontinent but in denial about it so he won’t wear incontinence underwear, and gets really nasty with my mother over just about anything. She could have someone in the home to give them advice, but he won’t accept that they need any. He refuses to have an operation on his prostate ( which is huge) and would help with the incontinence. I could go on.
Anyone with any tips to stay sane?

Best answer:

Answer by dnnykly
Put him in a home, reason with him somehow that it would be
‘for the best’, you need you life back, best wishes.

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